Throughout my life, as a child of the Pentecostal black church, I have heard a lot of sayings and things that I didn’t understand. The carelessness of my youth took it as something the adults just say to stop me from having a good time (ah the liberty of youth). When something began with a “God said” or “The Bible says” or “you know what Pastor says” it was as good as notarized and not to be questioned. It wasn’t until I began to go through my own struggles that I had to search the Bible for myself because others people’s “sayings” were not helping me through.
Paul tells the Thessalonian church to “to do your own business, and to work with your own hands”. Everyone always tell you to mind your business and only worry about yourself, but I think we fail to realize that minding our own business goes beyond butting in others conversations and gossiping. Minding our own business includes not being concerned with others are doing or saying or posting online unless it is directly pointed towards us. I can honestly say that since I have taken this approach I am a lot less offend-able. I just don’t take things personally anymore and have become a lot less “sensitive”, if you will. Can I still be petty at times? Sure. Who can’t be? I have however learned to examine my pettiness and leave people wondering how I feel instead of letting out a buffet of ratchetness in the midst of my anger.
The very first place I had to learn to do this was at home with family and friends. Anger and anxiety can have you “tight” if you will. The smallest thing can set you off and everything is meant as a dig at you. If someone says it smells nice outside you may take it as them saying you stink. If your kids ask their dad for something you take it as you’re not good enough. If you’ve never been at this point in your life consider yourself blessed, but for those of us (because I have) who have been there it can be quite a struggle to get through life with any type of positive thoughts at all. Everyone is talking about you. The whispers and the stares all become cuts at your self-worth, which you don’t have much of is you’re trapped in this mind set anyway. Anger and anxiety will have you thinking the world is out to get you, when in fact they aren’t even thinking about you.
No-one else in your life is watching your movie.
I can’t remember where I saw this but it has helped me tremendously. It helped me to understand that all the issues I perceive in my mind are not factors to others. Not my husband, who happens to be my closest friend, or my kids, not even my mother who I talk to everyday. Even if you spill your guts to your bestie, they still can not hold your own “stuff” in their mind the way you hold it in yours, and as much as they may love you they have their own movie to deal with.
Often times when we find ourselves offended by something it is because of some hidden deficiency that we feel we have. It may be left over static from a childhood incident, or regret from a decision we did or didn’t make that went wrong. Whatever that thing is that pains you when it is mentioned, no one else knows and I promise they are not posting about it or talking about it to cut you. They don’t even know that it has effected you the way that it has, they are just living their movie and expressing how they feel. That move they made was what they have to do to get by, not a slight at you. They are not attempting to rain on your parade at all, as far as they know they weren’t even invited.
Paul told the Thessalonians to make it their business to lead a quiet life (paraphrasing), mind their own business, and do their work so they can be about the work of the Lord and lack nothing. (1 Thessalonians 4:11-12) If you need to be rid of anger and offense ask God to take it from you. How effective are you as a Christian if you are full of anger and ready to cut off anyone who even breaths wrong? Trust me, I know this struggle all to well, and life minding my own business is a beautiful, wonderful thing.
Raysurnette's Rabbithole - The Sharing of Exploration 